Ring the Bells, Sound the Trumpets!

Gosh. I must interrupt the inactivity on this blog with some exciting news for my Lady Readers.

I just heard on the radio that Arnold Schwarzenegger is splitting from that Kennedy woman!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to be Jolly
Fa la la la, la la la la

Okay, it is kinda sad that after twenty-five years that Arnie and his wife can't hold it together...but on the other hand...

Yippee!!!

At last I'm in with a chance of grabbing Arnie's butt for myself. I mean, who wouldn't want a shy, retiring, svelte-like, sweet, adorable English Rose like me? Okay, I admit might not be actually "svelte-like" but  Arnie's an actor he can use his imagination, can't he? And as for the sweet, adorable bit - just ask all my friends.... it's completely true.

 At least on Mondays when the kids go to school.

So Arnie and that big cigar he's always carrying is up for grabs. Whoa Ladies! I haven't felt this excited since David Cameron was elected as our Prime Minister.  Mind you, after ten years with a Labour government and I probably would have been celebrating if Cheeta The Monkey had got into power.

You know, I didn't feel quite the same when Paul McCartney got divorced. Maybe it's because he wrote Hey Jude. I imagine he'd be a slushy, romantic kind of guy who sprinkles bed sheets with rose petals - and then waters them. Whereas Arnie would sprinkle the bedsheets with rose petals and then just rip 'em off. (The bed sheets that is.)

Anyway, the idea of making rumpy pumpy with someone who'd actually slept with Heather Mills is somewhat disconcerting. It's the leg thing, I'm afraid. Yep, I can imagine being in the throes of a second chorus of Hey Jude when suddenly a vision of a wooden leg springs to mind with Paul whispering; "I think it needs a coating of linseed oil, Heather. I'll do it tonight after I've sanded it down....."

Anyway, Arnie is free. Now, I've just got to break the news to Mr T gently....

I'm in love with Arnold Schwarzenegger! Damn it, his butt is goood!

I'm so excited because a few days ago my preordered copy of Terminator 4 arrived and this weekend I'll be settling down to watch it. Hurrah! Yes, one of my guilty secrets is a love of sci fi movies so even though it's a major disappointment Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't in the movie I'm still gonna check out this latest release in the Terminator series.

I wonder if Arnie has any guilty secrets? Hmm... maybe. In fact you might have seen the letter below circulating in the press which apparently Arnie sent to San Fransisco politician Tom Ammiano. Now Ammiano had been a little rude to the lovely Arnie and apparently walked out during a speech Arnie was making saying "Kiss my gay arse. " Now that's not very polite is it? In fact it's very, very naughty! Anyway Arnie sent Mr Ammiano a letter which not only rejected Mr Ammiano's legislature but carried another subtle little message;

Yes those highlighted words do read something a little saucy! Was it intentional? Only Arnie knows for sure. But personally, I believe it was deliberate. So what can I say but......

Gez, Arnie's got style! Boy, I love that guy! Not only has he got a well hot body, stars in fab sci fi movies but he's probably got a decent sense of humour! That's a winning combination for Mrs T! What I want to know is... what the hell is he doing with that Kennedy woman? What's she got that Mrs T hasn't got? Apart from the nice figure, pretty face and the massive bank account? Those things just aren't important! What Arnie really needs is a nice hot young Brit Chick like Mrs T. Yep, I've been practising that strip routine in True Lies for at least a decade and I feel sure I could win him over. Indeed, I regularly tip my daffodils over my head, rip the trim of my pinny, strip down to my bloomers and practice pole dancing with my broom. I mean, what man could resist Mrs T showcasing her bloomers?!

Right, better get back to watching Terminator 2. It's been on "pause" a bit too long. No reason.

Arnie's got a nice butt hasn't he?

Ps: Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends. I just love that accent and all those crazy sci fi movies. Keep up the good work!

(I'm excluding War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise by the way. No way can a pint size guy save the world all by himself. Fact.)