25 Bookish Things Males Have Actually Read By The Age of 25

If you're an avid reader, you've probably read one of the many articles advising you which books to read before you're 18/25/30/40/dead. Well, last week I came across a lively discussion on Facebook about the dominance of male authors in many of these lists. Unfortunately, some accusations about male misogyny were being bounded about. I was reasonably impartial about this accusation as I happen to like men (cough, cough) and probably read more books by male authors than I do by women authors.

However, this morning I have cleaned the Young Master's bedrooms and transferred the good Mr T's underpants from the bathroom floor to the laundry basket so I am not feeling so impartial. As a consequence I have come up with my own take on these annoying book lists. My list is called:

 Twenty-Five Bookish Things Males Have Actually Read By The Age of Twenty-Five.

It's not your standard list. Obviously. But it is, nevertheless, a very important list.

Right here we go:

1. Top Gear Annual 2014.

2. Playboy July 1997 (Farah Fawcett.)

3. Thomas the Tank Engine - A Cow on the Line. (Trains + farm animals = deep joy.)  

4.The Joy of Sex (Essential reading for  university undergraduates.)

5. The Dandy (4th Dec 2012 - last physical edition - perfect collectible for every saddo Dandy geek.)

6. Playboy September 1985 (Madonna.)

7. Top Gear Annual 2013.

8. The Viz - any edition. (Ideal reading material for an intimate bonding experience between father and son.)

9. The leaflet inside a packet of condoms. (Any brand.)

10. The rear of a packet of Kellog's Cornflakes.

11. The dating adverts in their local paper.

12. The telephone numbers scrawled inside their local phone box

13. The menu at the local Chinese Takeaway.

14. Playboy December 1992 (Sharon Stone)

15. The lingerie section of their mother's mail order catalogue. 

16. The Sun newspaper. (Available at the local barber's shop.)

Farrah Fawcett in 1977 - the golden haired icon of a generation who had men drooling before lunchtime.
Picture courtesy of Wikipedia. (Public domain.)

17. Their exam results slip. ( Very briefly - before returning their attention to No 21)

18. The washing instructions on the jeans they haven't cleaned for eight weeks and the bedlinen they haven't cleaned for twelve weeks.

19. The product description on a Lamborghini Roadster.

20. The price tag and mileage on a 2002 Vauxhall Corsa.

21. Playboy June 1998 (The Babes of Baywatch.)

22. The Google search results for Keira Knightly.

23. Captain Underpants and the Tyrannical Retaliation of the Turbo Toliet 2000.(Kid's book with universal male appeal.)

24 The alcohol content on a litre bottle of cider.

25. Their sister's diary. (Especially the section on menstruation.)

So there we have it. I think I have more than made up for all that male bias in those books-to-read lists. 

*Sticks tongue out.*

Also, if you want a darn good read by a female author read my novel. It's (almost) a work of genius. And a bargain price.