Faith, Hope and Charity

Hello Everyone, I'm back! I know you've been wondering where I've been been but in the UK it has been the Easter Hols and I've been under pressure from those Young Masters to be a dutiful mother. Damn their selfish ways - have they no concern for a poor woman in need of a corrective surgery and a large crate of Martini?

Anyway, later next week I will be back with all my usual ramblings and to let you know what is happening in the run up to the UK general election which is proving to be fascinating - certainly the most intriguing election campaign in my lifetime. I will also enlighten you on how I was caught begging - it's not a pretty story but will, in part, also explain my prolonged absence.

However, today I wanted to talk to you about someone who has become a very good friend of mine in the last 2 years or more - and that is Sy, the award winning writer from The Wheel is Turning but the Hamster is Dead. For those who have read his blog you'll know Sy has a wonderful self deprecating sense of humour and is hugely entertaining but he has also many other wonderful qualities including stamina, determination and a heart of gold.

Unbelievably, since last August Sy has lost am amazing 5 stone in weight by cutting out all those lovely yummy goodies and taking up running. He's a saint! I only wish I had his willpower! Anyway tomorrow (Sunday 25 th April) will be the culmination of Sy's efforts when he runs the London Marathon in aid of the children's charity CHILDREN WITH LEUKEMIA.

It's a sad fact that in our lives 1 in 3 of us will be directly affected by cancer - I know Sy has lost both relatives and a former partner through this dreadful illness. I also know there will be many of you out there who will also have suffered from loss a loved one from cancer, as I have, but I think all of us can come together and agree that there is no greater loss than that of a child and that is why I am asking you today to spare a little change - no matter how small - in support of Sy's amazing accomplishments over the last few months. You can can donate (even anonymously) to Sy's chosen charity HERE.

I know Sy has worked extraordinarily hard to achieve this mammoth feat, overcoming not just weight loss but cartilage problems and also the inevitable blister or two!

 Ouch - that looks pretty bad! Never wear new socks and trainers together!

 Working hard and looking pretty trim and athletic - a big difference from the guy I knew who dined on KFC! (Hey - what's Sly Stallone doing in the background?!)

Knackered - after completing a 10 kilometre run in aid of Run for Life (Cancer Research) several months ago.

And tomorrow, Sy aims to run the London Marathon in under 4 hours! Let's hope he can do it - but even if the clock is against him when he crosses the line it will truly be an amazing achievement! I'll be reporting on how Sy gets along next week. In the meantime I know Sy would be very appreciative of any donation in aid of Children with Leukemia.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read and let's all wish Sy the Best of Luck!

Against the clock

Whilst catching up on some of my blogging friends this morning I popped over to Laura's site Delighted Scribbler who is one of my newest blogging friends and what a surprise was in store for me. For Laura has discovered a new application called Write or Die where you can set yourself writing targets against the clock. And if you want to be particularly masochistic you can put it into kamikaze mode whereby if you don't write fast enough your words will disappear before your very eyes!

So this is what I am doing right now! I've set at target of 1500 words in 30 minutes. I've no idea at what speed I normally write; I'm not one for timing and organization I just write what I feel and when I feel like it which probably explains why I haven't finished my book yet! I also find it very easy to be distracted… by virtually anything. Especially anything that is tasty (if you know what I mean!)

My last post was about insomnia; I suffer from it quite a lot so if you've ever wondered why a comment pops on your blog at a ridiculous time of the day/night now you know why! But hey I have some fun at night it's not all tears and droopy eyelids. Sometimes I get stuck into a conversation with Master Sy who, if you've not realised is a bit of a teccy guy and works nights at an important British Institution. (MacDonalds) We usually talk complete drivel but hey that's what the two of us do best! Sometimes I ask him for teccy advice which probably annoys the pants of him. (Actually I know it does because early on he told me he hated it when people ask him computer related questions. - I guess it's rather like being a doctor being plagued by endless questions when your in the loo or having a cup of tea - or a film star having a quiet lunch only to be interrupted by a pain in the arse autograph hunter who doesn't know the boundaries.) Anyway being the useless IT person that I am over the course of the time I've sneaked a few questions.... usually in a pleading, grovelling fashion like;

" Oh Master Sy, you are so clever and exceedingly funny and I am so thick and I simply cannot figure out how to do this application and I have tried ever so hard and my poor, poor head is a spinning and I 've run out of chocolate and I just can't think anymore. Will you please, please help poor Mrs T, Oh pretty please! I will be forever indebted to you. I will worship the ground you walk on forever!"

Well something like that, except there maybe a little more grovelling involved.

Anyway, the good thing about Master Sy is that he never, never says "No". Isn’t that great? What a super star and he doesn't have a big head. (Or does he?!! Hee, hee, hee - sorry that information is only known to Mrs Sy!) Well that brings me onto the subject of relationships...

I was reading Mr Geoffrey’s post on cyber relationships and I agreed with a lot of it. The Internet can break down the barriers that exist between people. I think people are free to communicate without the fear of stigma and can be free to be who they want to be. There is greater freedom of speech; for many I suspect it is easier to communicate by words than face to face and maybe that does lead to relationships and friendship developing with greater ease. I see that as only a good thing. Certainly the friendships I have developed over the last year have been rewarding and fruitful and have only added to my enjoyment of life.

In real life we are not guaranteed to receive the love and care we would hope for even from our nearest and dearest. Some people cannot ever express themselves fully. For example I received a sympathy card from someone I have known for 20 years which simply read “Sorry to hear your news" I see this person regularly and not once have they expressed sadness for the loss of my mother or for my well being.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm saying here…I'm writing as fast as I can against the clock. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I personally find the Internet a wonderful source of communication and I've made friendships that I value. Of course there are disadvantages and pitfalls but there is with anything and we just have to pick through things until we find what works for us and what gives us the greatest pleasure.

Well, it won't be long till its Christmas; I love buying presents for my friends. But I like to find just the right present; I don't think there's much point otherwise. I thought I'd make a start yesterday and did a little surfing and Lo and Behold I found the perfect present for Master Sy! Here it is:

Do you…..STOP!!

846 words in 30 minutes! I'll just finish up.....

Well do you like what I've found for Master SY? You know what; I think he will. The question is do I get large or extra large to fit over his BIG HEAD????

Well, I don't think I could have written any faster! But I'm not particularly quick as I only really began typing 2/3 years ago. So if you're a speedy typist you may manage more; why don't you give it a go? It'll get the old brain cells ticking over! I've left the script as I wrote it with the exception of one nonsensical word, changing the writing application name as I'd incorrectly titled it and correcting my (many) spelling mistakes. I was altering my mistakes as I was going along but soon realised I was wasting valuable time, so don't make the same error!

Have fun and thanks for the link Laura!

Mrs T takes a leave of absence......

*Ding dong* the doorbell chimes, and Mrs T excitedly walks to the door.


“Oh Pierce. It is you! I always knew this moment would come!” Mrs T croons.


“Jane, my love, can I come in?” Pierce smoothly replies. His eyes smouldering with passion.


“Of course Pierce. Please. Come in.” Mrs T replies. Her nightrobe falling slightly open to reveal her tazmanian devil nightie, with stains of a Cadbury caramel bar.



“Oh, do excuse the stain!” Mrs T says, as she starts to suck on the chocolatey goodness stain.


"GO! GO! G O! Hold her down. No, harder. She is escaping! Come on...just a second more. OK, I got the sleeves around the back and the straps done up. That’s it. Take her away!"


*cue face peeled off a’la mission impossible styleeee*


Ahaaaaa! It is I. Master Sy. It is time to end this insanity of Mrs T’s.


Dear readers, after several “dodgy” posts, Mrs T has been replaced. As you read this, chocolate is being dangled in front of her eyes, and every time she goes for it, the straight jacket gets tightened a little more. Her face currently has the look of a constipated blueberry, such is the force at which she is going for the chocolate.


For a few months, I have been watching her behaviour, and it is obvious there are a few delusions occurring on a postly basis. Therefore, it is time to sort out a few bits.


*WATCH HER...SHE IS CHEWING THROUGH THE RESTRAINTS!*


My apology loyal readers, she is trying her best to get to the value own brand chocolate we are teasing her with.


Let me introduce myself. My name is Master Sy. I am not a housewife extraordinaire as the blog title suggests. In fact, I am not even a housewife. I am just a man. A man of extraordinaire proportions. Call me “The man”. Or “The Legend”. Hell, you can even call me Delilah. Either way, this is my post now. The king is dead. Long live the king. Well, I guess queen, but you know, the connotations of writing are just too many. Calling myself a queen...well...yeah.


Now. The reason for this takeover is two fold. The first is Mrs T’s infatuation with Mr Brosnan. The second is because I can, and because after I realised there were 2 folds after I folded the paper to put it in my pocket.


So I have arranged to interview them both. Get to the bottom of all the shenanigans. It seems to me to be the only way to get this sorted once and for all.


Master Sy: Tell me Mrs T. What is it all about? Hey? Why Pierce? Why a man with a name like the bad side of visit to the Dr’s for an injection?


Mrs T: Chocolate...Give. Me. CHOCOLATE. NOW!


Master Sy: Holy hell. She is spitting weird green stuff and her head is starting to turn all the way round.


Mrs T: GIVE IT TO ME YOU WEAK MORTAL! I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A FLY!


Master Sy: Ooohhhhkaaaay then. Guys...move the chocolate another 5cm away from her. Now. Mrs T. Answer me, or else. Why Needle Boy?


Mrs T: I hate you and everything you stand for!


Master Sy: I love you too poppy. But come on. Answer the question.


Mrs T: Fine. He is adorable, and he WILL give me more children. Mrs T needs to copulate and grow. My inner being is calling out for him. For him to fertilise me like an old pile of vegetables. The master race of Brosna-beings will take over the world and do my bidding. Cadburys and Nestle will be under my control. Chocolate will become more valuable then gold, oil and BOGOF offers for anti-perspirant in the warm season all put together. The French will want to be like me. The Iranian government will want to partnership with me. THE WORLD WILL TASTE MY SWEET TASTING GOODS!


Master Sy: *snicker* Taste your sweet tasting goods? Are you planning on selling chocolate or pornography?


Mrs T: Do not mock me mortal. I will come for you.


Master Sy: Riiiiiight. OK, well, thanks for making absolutely no sense at all. Here, have a mouthful of sugar free diabetic chocolate!


Mrs T: AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Master Sy:Watch out lads, I think she is gonna blow! Now. On to Mr Brosnan. The man behind Mrs T’s infatuation. Mr Brosnan. How do you feel about all of what you just saw?


Mr B: Blibble flip poop stump gorby munching tea pot. My name's Pierce and I have big ears! Wooooooo!!!!!


Well, I don’t know about you readers, but I think they should get together! Now. Please be kind enough to leave a comment letting me know if you would like the restraints taken off of Mrs T, or if you would like her kept in stasis for a while.


Thank you for your time.



Master Sy