and The Shack 
in my article Stairways to Heaven: The Lovely Bones meets The Shack. Of course some of you will realise that I cribbed the title of my article from the Led Zeppelin song Stairway to Heaven which is a classic rock tune. If you haven't heard of it, then have a listen now;But now I want to talk about that other kind of heaven - the heaven we have on earth! I guess most of us associate heaven on earth as being "in love." So many songs have been written with the themes of heaven and love entwined. Heaven on Earth by Belinda Carisle springs to mind, as does the BeeGees' Too Much Heaven and Bryan Adams Heaven. But, of course, there's the other kind of heaven;
Chocolate Heaven!
Okay, as it's Easter and lots of you will be indulging in chocolate I think we should really get into the mood with a look at some seriously chocolatey stuff from the woman who made cooking sexy, Nigella Lawson
.Blimey, that woman should be censored. She is practically making love to that cheesecake! Or is the cameraman - or both? Outrageous! I'm assuming she actually eats her own cooking - so how on earth does she look so slim and sexy? If I ate cheesecake like that (or indeed any cheesecake) I would be the size of the Michelin Man!
But imagine being paid to cook like Nigella? Crikey, I think even I could feign interest in cooking if someone was going to pay me a fortune to slobber all over it and use the utensils in a provocative manner. Still, Nigella may be a great cook but let me tell you when it comes to making love to chocolate - I can do things to a Cadbury's Creme Egg that put Nigella into the amateur stakes.
And I'm not even going to talk about Cadbury's Flakes.
Anyway if you really want to know what I think about cooking you need to read my blog To Cook or not to Cook. (No prizes for guessing the right answer.) However, I noted today that the lovely Nigella may soon be ousted by the younger Sophie Dahl, ex model and granddaughter of Roald Dahl, who has just started to ham things up on the BBC in a major way on her own cooking show. Soon Sophie and Nigella will be slogging it out for the title of Queen of the Cream Cheeses. Good Luck to them - I'll be watching the cooking slot on Blue Peter.
Celebrity chefs really wind me up. What the BBC needs is a real mum like me! Not one of these mums from privileged background who've probably never even seen a can of Baked Beans. They need a mum who knows what to do with a can of slushy peas, tomato ketchup and some beef gravy granules! I would be the perfect candidate -someone who could be an inspiration to the masses! Cos believe me, I can be really, really inventive in the kitchen - especially when it comes to disguising burnt offerings.
Yep, they should definitely give me my own cooking show. There's no doubt in my mind that it would be the most hysterical show on TV. Probably not for the right reasons - but a sure fire winner anyway!
Happy Easter Everyone!
