A Letter To Phil Collins

Dear Phil,

I'm not one to beat about the bush, so I'm going to get straight to the point. What is it with this retiring business? You're only 60 - don't you know the government has plans for us to work until we're at least 75? Look, I know you've got a heap of cash but if folks like you don't pay enough in taxes people like me will get our old age pensions reduced from a mere miserly pension to a non-existent pension. And I fancy eating more than beans on toast in my old age.

Is it the reviews of Going Back? Is that it? Was it the negative feedback about not producing new material and covering Motown tracks? I really don't think you should worry Phil - the album went to No 1 and I loved it! Besides, all the albums reviews were written by jumped-up youths barely out of their nappies. They weren't even born before you started losing your hair. I mean, what do they know about music? They think rap is good whereas we old timers know that rap is pap and, in the main part, written by some failed Caribbean poets who just so happened to have a cheap set of drums.

Now, I know it says on your website you're retiring because you want to spend time with your kids but I'm a full time mother and I still find time to write my blog, protest at government cutbacks and pretend I'm writing a novel. Surely, surely, you can pen a few notes in between building train sets and playing Cowboys and Indians? Oh, and I really don't care if you think you were an Indian at the Alamo in a previous life. However, can I just ask - Do you think that's where the drumming influence came from? Anyway, I've got three boys; if you ever want some spare dressing up costumes just ask. I have a great Indian headdress.

By the way, I really recommend Thomas the Tank Engine as reading for your boys. In fact, how about putting it to music? Make it into a musical?  You'd be doing the world a favour if you could drown out Ringo Starr's voice. Huh... The Beatles I bet you never really rated them either. Jumped up Liverpudlians.

Maybe it's the Genesis thing. Is that it? Look, you're getting older - no one expects you to make an album in 7 days anymore. Just get out the drumsticks and start tapping on the kid's Lego boxes. Put some nursery rhymes to music - let's face it Ba, Ba Black Sheep could do with a bit of an overhaul and as for The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round - I think that has great musical potential. Stick in a bit of synthesizer and getting Philip Bailey to the backing track and you have a sequel to Easy Lover.

Okay, so I know you've got problems with movement in the hands but, come on, I reckon you could clamp the drumsticks between your teeth and still outshine some of today's drummers. You could still write music though and get someone else to the drumming, couldn't you?. I guess you could even ask Ringo - so long as you make sure his microphone is cut off.  I know you've had problems with your hearing too -but it's okay now isn't it? I hope so - otherwise you won't know when you're shouting at your kids and they may end up hating you. It would be a pity if the fatherhood thing backfired...

Anyway, what I'm trying to say Phil is - I really don't think you should retire. You're a legend! You've had more hit records than I've cooked burnt meals - and that's really saying something. So, please, please have a great time with your kids whilst they're young and then think about making some more music will you? I'm not going to beg because that's not my style but I would be prepared to send you some of my jam as a token of my affection.

Yours admiringly

Mrs T.

Ps - I forgive you for the Tarzan soundtrack.

*************

Ladies and Gentlemen - The One and Only Retired Phil Collins (with guest appearance by Philip Bailey!)

Music Mondays: Taking Music at Face Value

Sometimes you forget how good a singer or pop group is... the CD gets lost in the collection, recent releases are played continuously on the radio, other musical preferences take over and you simply forget the old favourite. Then, one day, a song does pop up on the radio and you think "Wow, why did I ever stop listening to him/her/them?"

This happened to me last week. I was driving along and on came Easy Lover by Philip Bailey and Phil Collins; an uptempo pop tune from 1984. Although the the tune is credited to both Bailey ( Earth, Wind and Fire) and Collins (Genesis) there's no doubt when you hear it, it is the unmistakable sound of Phil Collins. Within a few days I'd heard Easy Lover several times (great music to drive to!) Against All Odds (Take a Look at me Now) and several other tracks and I was thinking to myself why/when on earth did I stop listening to Phil Collins?

A little bit of research explains the renewed media interest; Phil Collins has a new album due out later this year. Going Back  will consist of covers of classic 1960s Motown and soul tracks which Collins will be previewing at New York's Roseland Ballroom in June. The album will be Collins' first new material from a studio since 2002 and it will certainly be interesting to see just how he covers old favourites such as Stevie Wonder's Uptight (Everything's Alright) and Martha and the Vandella's Jimmy Mack.

Phil Collins' Going Back will be released in September 2010

For someone who has sold 250 million records (150m with Genesis and 100m solo) the last 10 years have been pretty quiet for Collins. Although divorced from his third wife in 2007, Collins, now 59, has been playing more of a fatherly role to his children and even been spending time constructing miniature train sets! (Yep, even great rock stars are afflicted by the curse of steam engines!)

Sadly, Collins has also been suffering from hearing loss in one ear since 2000 and more recently in 2009 a dislocated vertebrae, which required surgery, caused nerve damage affecting the use of his hands. It's been reported that during the recording of Going Back his drumsticks even had to be strapped to his hands. Nevertheless, Collins has adopted a philosophical, pragmatic view of the affect on his capabilities; "stuff happens in life" he wrote on the Genesis website - which is great news for music lovers because we know that every now and then, even when things aren't the best, Collins is going to come up with one of his musical gems.

In fact, it's possible that Collins is one of those musicians who works best in the face of adversity; some of his greatest music has been when he has been under emotional pressure - as perhaps his most well known song testifies. In the Air Tonight from the album Face Value was written after the breakdown of his first marriage. It's an atmospheric song which can really alter your mood; the tension in the introduction is quite palpable. I find it a particularly fascinating piece of music. So turn up the volume now and listen to this really great song from the very talented Phil Collins;