Midget Gem Outrage (No 2)

Following up on yesterday's article on the unscrupulous overpricing of Midget Gems at Tesco, today I am bringing you my report on the price and quality of Midget Gems at Tesco, Morrisons and Aldi. I did a lot of hard work on this (which sadly may now involve my acquiring a new set of dentures) so I hope you all appreciate my sterling efforts.

So, I will do the pricing element first. The Midget Gems I have selected for this process are what I call "Home Brand" Midget Gems.

Morrison's MG on the left, Tesco in the pink and Aldi on the right.

200g bag at Aldi = 34p

Excellent value. Finally, the Germans did something right. I quite like the packaging too - sophisticated although a little too black perhaps. Reminds me of...jackboots. I'll say no more as I know I have a terrible habit of mentioning the war which, frankly, is just childish of me. Anyhow, these days the Germans concentrate on making Midget Gems in the Ruhr Valley which is good news for everyone. In fact, I gather Aldi have also had so much success with these in the UK they are thinking about distributing them around the world and dominating the Midget Gem market...

200g bag at Tesco = 89p

What a rip off. Get real Tesco. There's a recession on. And the pink packaging is awful. I am not six year old girl mad about ballet dancing. I'm an adult. In size anyway.

200g bag at Tesco Express =93p

What the F***??? Need I say more? Except that I am going to boycott Tesco Express. (Unless I need any milk, bread or some of those tasty little croissants.)

227g at Morrisons = 89p

Well better value than Tesco anyway. And more appealing packaging to the discerning Midget Gem purchaser such as my good self. I like the Union Jack on the front which inspires not only confidence in the product but the general wearing of silly hats, street parties and senseless violence at football matches. 10/10

Right so now to the all important taste aspect of my review. (I'm getting bored now so this may be short and sweet - no pun in intended.)

Aldi - the MG are softer than Morrisons and Tesco's. I prefer my Gems harder. I think most women do. That said soft Gems have their attraction but only for a short space of time. Hard ones just last longer which is obviously very, very appealing. The flavours are not so strong as Morrison and Tesco but, nevertheless, that won't stop me scoffing them at regular intervals.

Morrisons - As I said, harder than Aldi and the flavours are more distinctive than Aldi's although there's one flavour that tastes a bit off - a bit like aniseed. Maybe these are the ones that have nettles and spinach in them.  Seriously. I wish I hadn't read the back of the packet now.

Tesco - About as hard as Morrisons and the taste equally pleasant. I'd have to sample another packet though to check for the rogue spinach/nettle flavour as I've eaten so many now I haven't got a clue who I am and where I live  - the one thing I am sure about though is that my face has broken out in Midget Gem sized spots which, no doubt, is due to excessive sugar consumption.

So there you are: I declare Aldi Midget Gems the best overall in the value for money stakes despite being a little more bland than Tesco and Morrisons. I'd probably pick Morrisons over Tesco's by a small degree in the quality and taste stakes. However, I am prepared to delete this post should a truck load of Midget Gems arrive on my doorstep from Tesco's.

In the meantime, I duly await the arrival of a large quantity of Frankfurters, Stollen and a nice pair of boots.

Note: I didn't read the back of the packets of either the Aldi or Tesco versions. I can't remember why - it could be because a) I was too busy eating b) I couldn't find my glasses or c) I couldn't be arsed. I suspect it may have been c).

Midget Gem Outrage (No 1)

Yes, I've finally got round to talking about those lovely little sweeties called Midget Gems. So in order for you to understand the importance of this article I shall  first give you a bit of background to this high powered, utterly crucial and extremely well researched consumer article.

Hang on. I've just remembered I have half a packet of Midget Gems left in my drawer. I'd better eat them before they go stale.

Mmm... Mmm...

So, back to business. Wait a minute. I've got one stuck on my teeth. Where's my toothpick? Right, off you get now...come on you little bugger...move. I said MOVE. Okay, that's better...

Now where was I? Ah yes -so my boys and I and indeed the good Mr T are very fond of Midget Gems (hence forth known as MG) and for a long time, after the boys finished tennis in the evenings, I would often stop and pick up some MG from the Tesco Express we pass on the way home. The MG were in the Tesco "value" range and priced at 33p. The boys would get a packet each and occasionally I would share mine with Mr T if I didn't forget to leave them in the car. (Cough, cough.) So for 99p we would all get a little tasty treat. Excellent.

Then, one evening, after a long hard day working like a slave around the house, driving long distances into town and writing mentally taxing academic articles here on my blog and with two very tired and sweaty young masters in the car I went into the Tesco Express to get my MG. But I could not find my MG! Where were my MG? I was extremely anxious, my heart beating furiously at the thought my MG were gone forever.  I raked my eyes over the shelves, sick, sick, sick at the thought of having to eat Wine Gums, Chocolate Éclairs or even, God forbid, a Galaxy Caramel Chocolate bar. And then suddenly...

Right at this juncture, Readers, I need you to go over to your cooker, hob, oven or whatever you call the thingy you cook on in your country and stick your finger on/in the element/flame so that you can get some idea of the acute pain I was about to suffer...

Yes, suddenly I noticed that my dearly beloved MG had been repackaged, placed on the shelf above and priced at;

93p


Yes, that's right. 93p for ONE packet.

Now, Readers, please go back and place your finger on the hob again. Because now I have to tell you  when I next went to the large Tesco where I do my main shop my MG were priced at;

89p


(By the way there is no discernible difference between the old and new MG as I have more than adequately sampled them) 


Now we all know you have to pay a little bit more in a corner shop because corner shops are often independent or much smaller companies - but Tesco? Tesco is a huge multinational company!  I am, quite frankly, appalled, sickened, gutted, mortified, outraged and indeed ready to take out their HQ with an Exocet missile and a small troop of irate housewives that the price of my beloved MG has been so ludicrously inflated.

Please go burn your finger again.

This is because you must now suffer the agony of waiting until tomorrow for part two of this consumer article where I will compare the price and taste of Tesco, Morrison and Aldi Midget Gems. I would have done that now - but unfortunately I've forgotten and I need to do some more sampling.

Notice that I have got out my Critic mug in preparation for this odious and most difficult of tasks. 

Quills: Madness, Mayhem and the Marquis de Sade

I watched a terrific film last night called Quills which I don't know how I've missed up until now bearing in mind it was released in 2000. To put it simply, it's about madness, mayhem and the Marquis de Sade. Apparently, there have been some rumblings about historical inaccuracies but I think that is of little consequence; the film is an absolute delight and deals with such a wide range of themes; mental illness, sex, religion, literature, politics, violence, censorship in a marvellously entertaining way. Obviously, if you're not one who enjoys those sort of topics, which are dealt in a very upfront and colourful manner, then it's not for you but otherwise I would heartily recommend it. And with a terrific performance by Geoffrey Rush as Sade, supported by Michael Caine, Kate Winslet and Joaquin Phoenix and a superb script Quills is an all round winner.

A Beautiful Storm: A Writer's Dilemma

Two days ago, on my early morning perusal of the online newspapers I came across an article on the Daily Mail written by journalist Samantha Brick with the title "There are downsides to looking this pretty": Why women hate me for being beautiful." Obviously, with an eye-catching title like that I was instantly intrigued and read on. My immediate reaction was laughter and delight -I chuckled all the way through it. I could not believe that a woman could write such an article about herself and one which, without doubt, would paint her in a very bad light in the eyes of many people and open her up to universal condemnation. Of the many thoughts that crossed my mind about Samantha Brick (and I leave it to you all to make your own opinions as to the validity of her arguments) the one thing I thought was that Samantha must have a very thick skin indeed because no way could someone write an article like that and not expect some sort of backlash and vitriol.

It now transpires that Samantha does not have a very thick skin. Over the last two days the article has become an internet storm generating an enormous amount of interest. Whilst a few people have supported Samantha Brick's premise the majority verdict has been overwhelming condemnation. Unfortunately, she fuelled the debate with another article yesterday  in which she claims the backlash to her article merely supports her argument that women hate her for being so pretty. In this second article, she claimed the last 24 hours of her life had been "horrendous" and that she didn't expect such a reaction and how she has been sobbing and crying.

Samantha's emotional turmoil may or may not be true of course -as in these media dominated times sometimes writers, actors and celebrities, especially those on the fringes of genuine stardom, have other agendas which may be simply selling themselves either through their films, TV shows and books in order to make their daily crust. If we suppose that Samantha is indeed traumatised by her experience and she is not rubbing her hands together in glee at the prospect of a forthcoming book launch then I am worried for her. I hope she is mentally strong enough to make it through this crisis because whether or not you agree with her article or even think she deserves all the criticism there aren't many people in this world who would wish on someone intense emotional trauma or even mental breakdown.

The Daily Mail has a predisposition to engaging female writes who rake up their private lives time and time again on their pages. I want to be balanced here -I don't think any subject should be taboo and there are many legitimate reasons to discuss marriage, sex, relationships and so on in a thought-provoking and intelligent way and I think it would be incredibly boring if journalists didn't, at times, offer personal opinions and events in their own lives as a point of reference. But I believe it has to be done well.  I don't think Samantha's article is actually any good at all and discusses, very badly, issues which tackled in a less personal manner might have had more validity. That said, we all make mistakes. Samantha made a huge one. What surprises me more is that somewhere along the line before this article went to press someone did not withdraw the article. The fact that it wasn't speaks more of the lack of journalistic integrity at The Daily Mail who, if anything, are now also effectively mocking Samantha by publishing even more stories on the backlash to her article containing pictures which (to Samantha) might seem offensive unless she has a very good sense of humour. Whoever the person is who let Samantha's original article go to press I sincerely hope they are not patting themselves on the back for boosting their circulation figures but ashamed that they did not pull the plug on what is, if we are to take it at face value, a very idiotic piece of  journalism. Samantha will reap the repercussions for some some considerable time.

All of this leads leads me to a question -  How much of one's private life should one reveal in the public arena? As a writer, I think it is almost impossible not to reveal something about your nature in what you write - even if that is only in the subject matter you choose and not in actual personal revelations. With regard to novels; the settings maybe fictional but often the emotions are ones explored elsewhere, transposed from one situation to another in order to explore the feelings that a writer needs to create empathy with his characters. The dullest writers are those that portray characters without crossing this minefield. I suppose what I'm saying is -that whatever you write says something, even in a small way, about who you are. It's almost inevitable.

In respect of very personal writing, such as this blog, I think one should be careful about what one writes as the consequences of not doing so could be disastrous. That is why I have a personal boundary I do not cross. As a direct result of Samantha's article though I have also been reflecting on the way people might perceive me and whether or not I am happy with my online persona. I guess on the whole I am. And when I look back over my blog I think it is actually a fairly accurate portrayal of who I am in real life. I would hope people would say I'm silly but sensible in an entertaining sort of way. Pretty harmless. Of course, I realise my humour and opinions might not appeal to all and could leave me open to a lot of criticism if someone really wanted to make a personal attack or take issue with me as they have on a couple of my reviews for The View From Here. As it is, I have few worries about receiving criticism for my reviews on The View as they are written in a professional capacity but in those few cases where I received negative feedback I have gone back and reread them to make sure I was happy with what I'd written. I think that was an important and necessary thing to do. If I were to receive personal criticism here on my blog that would be a different matter altogether and I would definitely be reviewing what I had written as objectively as possible. I think reflection is a very important part of life and learning and, ultimately, being happy with the person we are.

Without wanting to sound too preachy I think Samantha now needs to stop talking and writing and start reflecting. It can be a very long life.

Samantha Brick on national television this morning 5/4/2012

Are we having we a fuel crisis or not?

Look, if the sodding fuel truckers are going strike - will they just do it or forget it! The whole issue of whether we are or are not going to have a fuel strike is driving me bananas.

So last week I had to fill up - as I usually do when the tank is nearly on empty. I was lucky there was still some fuel available but I suppose that were some people who needed it who didn't get any. Why do people with G reg Ford Cortinas, usually about ninety years old, an excess of shopping bags and who haven't come out of their house for twenty years make a special trip to the petrol station to drain every last drop of fuel so people who actually need it can't get it? This also happens when there is any other kind of shortage too. Okay, okay I know the answer really - it's because they are panic buyers. And they drive me stark raving mad! So can I say just for my own pleasure and for no other reason than that I want to let off steam;

It's a fuel shortage you nutters - not the end of the world!


Hmm..I feel better now.

So a story - On Saturday I travelled down to sunny Luton for tennis where I met another (older) tennis parent who was going on about the fuel crisis. To which he informed me with delight;

"I've just remembered I've got a large container of fuel somewhere in my outside shed from the last fuel crisis, ten years ago. Do you remember that one?"

Well there is your answer to the fuel crisis. Stupid people stocking up on stuff they really don't need. And I do remember the last crisis as I was pregnant at the time and one day when I was filling up I expressed concern to the petrol attendant about not being able to get the hospital in an emergency (which bearing in mind I'd already two premature babies was a real possibility.) Anyway, the lady very kindly replied that if I was in dire need of petrol I could pop in and they would always top up a few pounds worth as they kept some fuel back in reserve for emergencies. Now that's what I call sensible.

Anyway, this fella didn't have just one of those little petrol cans in his shed but some great big huge container - I don't know maybe he had a fleet of tractors at the time - but  how the hell he'd forgotten that for ten years I don't know but I wanted to knock him on the head with it. That's the polite version anyway.

Hmm...this post was supposed to be about my Midget Gem research but then as I sat down to write I remembered I am off travelling with the boys today to a tennis tournament and it would really really help with the current fuel crisis if I don't end up going the wrong way round on the M25 like yesterday. I swear to God there's a gremlin in that Sat Nav. Two weeks ago I wanted to go Croyden when the bloody thing took me through central London - yep that's right - Marble Arch, Park Lane, the lot. Master Jacob was fascinated though and at one point he even cried out; "Mummy there's a white person!" That's true Readers, absolutely true. Kids are just great though aren't they? Poor Master Jacob is still trying to figure out why Michael Jackson wanted to be white as according to him " Black people are way more cool and dance so well. And he had amazing hair!"

You know folks, it's times like that I know I've done well with my boys.

Fingers crossed for me on the M25 again today please.

The Curious Incident of the Blog in the Night Time.(A Climate Change story.)

A strange thing happened today. I was working on my story about Pooh bear (again) which not only involves hand dryers but also the subject of climate change (the story is getting weirder by the minute!) when I decided to go back and read my 2009 interview with Paul Brown, a former journalist with The Guardian newspaper whose specialism is climate change. To my horror, I found that my blog post was all scrambled up so that it made very little sense. Of course, I've reformatted my blog several times since 2009 so anything is possible but, suffice to say, I've not noticed any changes in any of my other blog posts bar a few script and spacing changes. I am rather curious how this peculiarity has come about and with my imagination I can jump to all sorts of conspiracy theories - although I'm sure in reality it's just one of those quirky technical things. It'll probably be the inspiration for a story at some point! Anyhow, I have now reformatted the post in its original location but also for the first time ever I am re-posting a blog (other than those originally posted at The View From Here) as, having read it over again, I think it is still very relevant today - as well as quite a poignant interview. It would also be interesting to hear from any of my American Readers about the current thinking and approach to climate change both in American society as a whole and within the Obama administration now that it is several years down the line. Any comments are very much welcome.

If you found this post informative then please do share the information and spread the word about climate change. Quotes are acceptable usage but please do give do give links/credit back if possible. You may also enjoy my science-fiction story Fantasia, which is about what Walt Disney discovers when he awakes from cryogenic suspension in 2031. Fantasia is part of my short story collection A Modern Life, available on Amazon.

Climate Change: Interview with Paul Brown, Author and Journalist

Paul Brown is the author of 9 factual books, primarily on environmental topics. He worked for The Guardian newspaper for 24 years, the last 16 as their environment correspondent. During his tenure, The Guardian won Environment Newspaper of the Year 4 times. He has met with numerous eminent politicians and scientists, attended climate change conferences and travelled to some of the world’s most remote places, including Antarctica. Although he left The Guardian in 2005 he still writes a weekly column in between travelling the world educating other journalists for The Guardian Foundation and the United Nations Environment Programme whilst continuing his campaign to raise awareness of global warming. Global Warning, The Last Chance for Change was published in 2006 and was a best seller in the United States. He is currently writing his first novel, a political thriller revolving around the nuclear industry.

A first part to this interview where Paul and I discuss writing, journalism and his novel can be found here on The View from Here as can my review of Global Warning Last Chance for Change. Paul was very accommodating during my interview and we discussed a variety of subjects at length. What follows is the mainstay of our conversation on climate change; it makes very interesting reading.

J. One of the curious things that struck me in Global Warning was how much interference there had been by the American government and businesses in trying to prevent the progress of climate change discussions and negotiations - Even to the extent that some businesses have disguised themselves with names that imply they are pro climate change and even the doctoring of reports.

 P. Yes, in the narrowest sense they are protecting their interests but in the broadest sense they are actually killing people off.

J. It’s morally hard to grasp that. 

P. For me, more than the warlike tendencies of the Bush administration, was the morally reprehensible defence of the coal, oil and motor industries against overwhelming scientific evidence that they are destroying the planet.

J. Do you think the Americans are going to come back into negotiations now that Barack Obama is on the scene?

P. Oh yes, there’s a huge change in the attitude of the American Administration and all the scientists who were marginalized by Bush have been totally rehabilitated and put in key positions in government.

J. I was shocked to read that in California by 2020 there could be water deficit for eleven million people. Surely people must be ignorant of these facts?

P.In California there is now an awareness that there never was before. I think it is partly down to Schwarzenegger. He did genuinely say he got his re-election as Governor because of his green policies which is an extraordinary thing for a republican to say! And I think the attitude in America is changing.

J. Do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger has been more successful because he’s not a life long politician and is never going to have to live off the back of a political career? So it doesn’t matter to him who he offends?

P. Well I think its partly character isn’t it? He’s essentially European so in a way he’s sort of an independent person. He genuinely looks at the situation from the environmental point of view and looks at the evidence and can’t ignore it. The snow situation in the Sierra Mountains is terrible and when the glaciers disappear, as they will inevitably will, California is going to be a dust bowl. Okay some politicians have ignored the problem but he hasn’t.

J. But warming is a global problem rather than an individual event so whatever he does will be counteracted by countries elsewhere that do nothing.

P. One of the things that came across in Copenhagen last week and as Lord Nicholas Stern said was that this economic downturn was a huge economic opportunity to change into a low carbon economy and if places like California manage to thrive as low carbon economies, as indeed they appear to be doing and adopting green cars and all that sort of thing, then everyone else will want to do it. Because you’re creating a huge series of industries that are growing and the only industries that are growing in this recession are environmental industries. Wind, wave and tidal powers are all growing at a huge rate whereas the traditional industries are struggling. So it’s a potential for growth that people can see by example. So although in California people are still going to suffer they will also be pioneers and will be able to export green technologies to other people.

J. Until you actually read some of the hard facts you don’t really realise the situation. Finding out about the time delay – the 30 year gap before the full effect of the CO2 emissions and the sea level rise over the next 100 years – that these are going to happen anyway was shocking; I wasn’t aware of them at all.

P. In fact since I wrote Global Warning the sea level has risen dramatically. And much faster than scientists anticipated.

J. Some islands, like the Maldives, are going to flood anyway by the end of the century whatever they do, aren’t they?

P. Yes, and very possibly before. I think that was one of the things that frightened me most was the inevitability of the sea level rise.

J. Yes, we’re talking about huge civilizations flooding and where will all the dispossessed go? That is a really huge question. Perhaps in America they can all move inland but where will people who don’t have the same religious backgrounds and beliefs go? It’s just going to be awful.

P. Yes, people keep talking about China and India being the powerhouses of the world but if you take the effects of the glaciers melting in the Himalayas, the water supply running out and the flooding of the Deltas because of the sea level rise you’re talking millions and millions of people who have nowhere to go because the country is already so overwhelmed with population.

J. It is almost inevitable that millions of people are going to die.

P. Yes. One of the scientists at Copenhagen, was saying he thought that unless we made drastic cuts in CO2 now we are looking at a population crash from six billion to one billion.

J. Whole civilizations.

P. Yes. Five out every six people could perish by the end of this century. That’s extraordinary.

J. It is. You didn't dwell on it that much in the book - perhaps because you didn’t want to scare us - about the Gulf Stream and what effect it will have on us in the UK.

P. If the Gulf Stream stops now, today, it would be about five degrees colder on average. That may not seem much but it would mean the winters would last from about the beginning of November to the end of March or even later and the sea around the coast might freeze. The summers would be shorter- we would be a bit like Iceland. The amount of crops that could be grown and ripen might be limited - it could become difficult. It would be an unpleasant place to live as opposed to a very pleasant to live. However, the chances of that happening are not very great – the Gulf Stream just turning off over night – it might slow down a lot- but by then the world might have warmed up a bit and it might counterbalance out.

J. So we don't really know the whole totally effect?

P. No.

J. I’d been wondering, before I knew about your novel, how if you wrote the global warming scenario into fiction how many more people could you reach. There’s a certain type of person who only reads factual books.

P. One of the things that would very much come into this book is that its always been the nuclear industries view that if you have nuclear power stations that you can also have renewable industry too - which is exactly what the government is saying now. But of course this isn’t true because if you have big nuclear power stations you need a completely different form of national grid than if you have small renewable industries - which is actually what we need. So you either have to have two grids or you say we’ll invest all this money in nuclear power and say we don’t need any of this renewable stuff. So it is about whether you do something credible about climate change or whether you build nuclear power stations and so in a sense it is about climate change because in a sense the two things are inextricably linked.... And the motives of the people in the Dept of Energy or as was… these are the people who have been making the wrong decisions and have been for the last thirty years and these are the people you have to make central to your novel because they must have motives. People like Mandelson and Gordon Brown just haven’t got it. They haven’t understood it. What’s extraordinary is that Gordon Brown has been wonderful on poverty in Africa; he really obviously cares about it. But he’s completely wasting his time unless he does something about climate change at the same time because the children in Africa are going to be wiped out by climate change as quickly they are going to be wiped out by poverty and the two things are hand in hand and if you haven’t got that - it’s a tragedy.

J. Yes, I’ve read that there are actually more economic refugees than there are from war. It’s logic really.

P. Yes and it's getting worse all the time and every year it is going to get worse.

J. I was also surprised to learn in your book how much China has done about climate change because the input I’ve had from the media is China is terrible and far worse than the United States when actually it seems to me China has done quite a lot of good things - whereas America is producing 25% of the entire CO2 emissions. Of course China will go on making lots of emissions and increasingly so because of their population but they do seem to be much more aware of it.

P. The Chinese scientists are very good and they have warned their government in no uncertain terms about the problem of the melting glaciers on the Tibetan Plateau which is going to make their rivers dry up. They’ve also warned them about sea level rise. And the Chinese Gov is aware that they will lose control if millions of people become environmental refugees and so they are much more concerned about climate change now than they were five years ago because they realise it’s going to directly affect them. But the other thing is they get the blame for all the CO2 emissions they make by making all the stuff they sell to us; I mean about one third of their pollution is pollution we’ve exported to them. So they get the blame for that…. I was over in Beijing at the invitation of the Chinese government to talk to Chinese journalists at how they should be writing more about climate change and I discovered every street lamp between Beijing and the Great Wall of China is solar powered.

J. That’s amazing!

P. And we don't have any!

J. And that seems like a comparatively easy thing we could do.

P. Yes, and as far as I was concerned they were streets ahead of us in renewable energies. Okay, they’ve got much more to do and their air pollution is shocking but they are turning out more wind turbines and more solar power than we are by a long chalk.

J. I just don’t think people in this country are really aware of what’s going to happen.

P. No, not at all.

J. I know at school they do teach quite a lot as I was talking to my seventeen year old son last night about this and he had obviously been taught about Kyoto. He also knew about the thirty year build up of CO2 but I don’t think people of my age would know that. Maybe there has to be a bigger education programme for the masses.

P. Well it’s very hard isn’t it? In one sense it’s been out there for sometime and if people wanted to know they could have found out. I think there’s an element in all of us of that “I’d rather not know about that because I might have to do something about it.”

J. Yes – ignorance is bliss. At the end of the book when you talk about wind power and hydro electric dams I remembered that when I was girl and lived in Weston Super Mare there was talk for years about building a barrage across from Weston to Wales  *and what effect it would have on Weston - and that’s thirty years ago and nothing’s ever happened. And yet it’s the second highest tide in the world - just waiting for technology to use it.

P. Yes. One of the frightening things is that certainly politicians and people like Tony Blair have been on about climate change for years. Tony Blair was on about it from the moment he became Prime Minster. I mean, he was on about it from the beginning and was there for ten years yet absolutely nothing happened. It’s completely unforgivable really.

J. In the book you say we really have a maximum of fifteen years before there’s a tipping point.

P. Well the scientists in Copenhagen were actually saying 2015.

J. Right. (Momentary silence.)

P. They’re saying we’ve got to start reducing CO2 emissions by 2015 at the absolute latest by 3% a year from then more or less for ever and a day. We’ve got to something about it. 

J. That’s almost insurmountable from a politician’s point of view.

P. From a politician’s point of view, from a scientific point of view, from a technical point of view and every other point of view it is quite possible to do that - if we had the political will.

J. That seems to be the key point. In your book basically you say if we stop burning fossil fuels we stop our carbon emissions. Although we will still have other problems to contain like the methane coming from the permafrost.

P. Yes. There were people at the Copenhagen conference who were saying it’s already too late because these things are unstoppable but I feel that’s the wrong attitude because the science is uncertain - in the sense that you actually can’t tell precisely how the earth is going to react to things. But what we do know is that we’ve underestimated how quickly things will happen which is the frightening bit. Because it would be much nicer if it was reacting much more slowly. But you can’t say we give up. No.

J. Yes – that’s just like wiping out the future of mankind isn’t it?

P. Well for those of us with children it's liking wiping out the future of our children. 

J. If everybody had a carbon allocation do you think that would be the way to go? Obviously flying is a major problem. The emissions from planes are a serious issue; we need to cut down on them. There are people taking three or four holidays abroad a year.

P. Yes. I went to Copenhagen last week to the climate conference and it was important for me as I was actually giving a lecture. It was important for me to get up to date with the science as I’m teaching journalists about climate chance but it is worrying that the only way of getting there practically is to fly. But I am in favour of a personal carbon limit. The Royal Society of Arts and Commerce of which I am a council member has done an experiment with personal carbon and they think it will work.

J. The carbon trading system that resulted from Kyoto seems to have had a big effect in promoting new industries in poorer countries; so it's worked on a global scale so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t work on an individual scale. And it seems to have been more successful than they ever thought it ever would be.

P.Also, if you had a really large carbon footprint you could justify that by insulating your loft a bit more or buy a gas condensing boiler - and then you'd able to afford a holiday abroad.

J.Yes, and if it made people think twice then it would work just like the water meters have worked in the UK.

P. Yes, and the moment people start to think about it you are winning aren't you?

**************************

Final comment from Jane (from 2009)

I've been thinking seriously about climate change for a year now since I first read Paul's book. I'd like to think I was aware of it before but I'll be honest and say I wasn't aware of possible total effects which could be catastrophic. However, as Paul concludes in his book we do have the technology to help limit the impact of climate change. What we have to do is act quickly and that means everyone one of us playing a small but necessary role in helping to safeguard the world for future generations.

I've also now read quite a bit more on climate change and of course there are many sceptics. In particular there are those that say we are in a period of  natural global warming. Like Paul, I am inclined to believe that many of these people have vested interests and short term agendas. As for this period of global warming being a natural phenomenon I came across a quote taken from a report entitled “Is the climate warming or cooling?” by David Easterling of The National Climatic Data Center and Michael F. Wehner of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in which they say;

“We show that the climate over the 21st century can and likely will produce periods of a decade or two where the globally averaged surface air temperature shows no trend or even slight cooling in the presence of longer-term warming.” (Source Andrew C. Revkin of the New York Times.)

It's a question of who you believe. And sometimes you have to go with your instincts because everyone know that facts can be twisted or interpreted any which way you wish - especially if your motivations are not entirely honourable. For me, looking it in the most simplistic sense it defies logic to believe that what we have done to our world cannot have an impact and that burying our heads in the sand will only make the outcome more tragic.

There's a saying in the UK that "An Englishman's home is his castle" and, likewise, all over the world people spend vasts sums of money modifying, refining and equipping their homes with the best they can afford. I think it's about time that we remembered that our castle is more than just four walls, it's our world. And we need to give it the same love and care that we afford to our material lives.

*(Please read link - I found a quote from Alistair Darling saying tidal power was still "in it's infancy" - The Weston barrage (or various forms of it) has been discussed for years - "The 10-mile (16km) barrage has been mooted in different forms since it was first proposed in 1849, according to Roger Falconer, professor of hydro-environmental engineering at Cardiff University" (BBC) )

Copyright Jane Turley and Paul Brown 2009

Don't understand "global warming"? Read this explanation by NASA

Another Emergency Post: Winnie the Pooh and the Case of the Germ Ridden Hand Dryer

I have broken off from writing to make this emergency post.

As you can see from the title I am still working on my Winnie the Pooh story. (Bear with me folks.) Anyway, my Pooh story necessitated me doing some research on hand dryers. (Those machines in bathrooms for drying your hands - just thought I'd mention that in case any of you were confused.) And yes, I know a story about Winnie Pooh and an electric hand dryer sounds almost inconceivable but should you folks ever get to read my masterpiece it'll probably blow your brains out with its originality - or you'll just blow your brains out.

So to get back to the hand dryer business. For my story I needed to know when hand dryers were invented so I duly googled "When were hand dryers invented?" (original I know) and up came the Wikipedia page for Hand Dryer.

By the way, I can't believe how much time some people have to input all this stuff on Wikipedia - is there a Wikipedia page for everything?  In fact I'm going to test that potential theory right now:

Okay, Wikipedia is not infallible.

I put in "My Arse" and luckily no Wikipedia page came up. Phew.

So to continue; I read the Wiki page and discovered that hand dryers were invented in 1948 which suited my story perfectly. Then, unfortunately, I read some really ghastly information. Now, I've always suspected that hand dryers were not very hygienic as to put it simply - they blow hot air all over the place. I've always imagined them to pick up the germs a bit like the wind picks up litter and drops it two hundred yards up the street. Pretty disgusting really. Perhaps somewhere in my dark and distance past I've even read something along those lines. However, suddenly there was all the information in black and white some of which, courtesy of  the good gentlemen of Wikipedia, I'm pasting below:

In 2008, an unpublished study was conducted by the University of Westminster, London, for the trade body, European Tissue Symposium, to compare the levels of hygiene offered by paper towels, warm air hand dryers and the more modern jet-air hand dryers. The key findings were:

• after washing and drying hands with the warm air dryer, the total number of bacteria was found to increase on average on the finger pads by 194% and on the palms by 254%
• drying with the jet air dryer resulted in an increase on average of the total number of bacteria on the finger pads by 42% and on the palms by 15%
• after washing and drying hands with a paper towel, the total number of bacteria was reduced on average on the finger pads by up to 76% and on the palms by up to 77%.

The scientists also carried out tests to establish whether there was the potential for cross contamination of other washroom users and the washroom environment as a result of each type of drying method. They found that:

• the jet air dryer, which blows air out of the unit at claimed speeds of 400 mph (≈640 km/h), was capable of blowing micro-organisms from the hands and the unit and potentially contaminating other washroom users and the washroom environment up to 2 metres away
• use of a warm air hand dryer spread micro-organisms up to 0.25 metres from the dryer

paper towels showed no significant spread of micro-organisms.


To which I (conservatively) say ; 


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Now, from reading around a little if you're using a new fan-dangled hand dryers like the Dyson Airblade, which is becoming more popular here in the UK, it may offer more protection than traditional dryers as the design shields water being spread about as well as sucking in air and cleaning it using an antibacterial filter. Although this sounds great in theory until I see hard statistics relating to how effective these machines are within a given airspace if I have a choice I'll probably still be going for the paper hand towels which decrease the bacterial count by 24%  - whereas according to the Wikipedia article a hand dryer increases bacterial count by 117%. It is good, however, to see Dyson developing this kind of technology though because we all know paper towels and the old type hand dyers are hideously wasteful.

So for the time being at least -the answer maybe to use a paper towel or cross your legs.


Thus ends this emergency post. I've got to get back to Winnie. In my story I'd thought about developing a replacement for toilet roll. Unfortunately, I'm now having second thoughts...... (use your imagination!)